EDGE Dallas

Since the decriminalization of homosexuality in India last summer, gays there have been free to engage in consensual encounters with same-sex adult partners. Online dating has emerged as a way to facilitate relationships and hookups, especially for those who are still shy about being openly gay, but there are risks associated with e-romance: scammers who lure, then rob, gay men with a promise of intimacy.

A Feb. 9 article at Mid Day.com reports that an advertising professional (given the pseudonym of "Amey Malhotra") had met a man called "Zaif"--no last name--online. In what became a cautionary tale, Malhotra missed the telltale warning signs: in this case, Zaif’s reluctance to provide a surname, and Malhotra’s having to pay for everything on their dates. Things ended badly when the two went to Malhotra’s home, where Zaif locked him in the bathroom and robbed him, stealing his cell phone and his laptop.

At first, things seemed to go well. The two chatted online for days; Zaif was a handsome and amiable man online and, when the two began to meet, in person. Zaif presented himself to Malhotra as a would-be model looking to make professional contacts; in what may have been one early warning sign, he offered to trade sexual favors for help breaking into the business.

"I felt an affinity towards him, as he was from Delhi, where I studied," Malhotra told the press, going on to say that his new friend was "a typical guy from the North--very good looking, but a little rough around the edges."

Malhotra recalled the events of Jan. 12, when Zaif revealed his true colors. "I left home [to meet Zaif], but realized I had forgotten my wallet. So, we went back to get money. By then, it was nearly 12:30 a.m. Zaif told me, ’Go and wash your face at least, you are just back from work.’ I went into the washroom. Soon, I realized that the thin, aluminum door to the washroom was locked from outside." Gradually, it dawned on Malhotra that his friend was not playing a prank. "I knew there was nobody in my house. I was banging on the door for more than 10 minutes, after which it gave way. I was bleeding and bruised," Malhotra recalled.

Added Malhotra, "I was such a trusting, open person but now I’m doubly careful. I’m very skeptical about people." The golden lining to this betrayal was that Malhotra could now go to the police to report the theft, without fear that he would face charges himself for being gay.

Even before the change in the law, Mid Day.com had posted an article advising gays to trust the police to be helpful if they were assaulted or robbed. The May 10, 2009 article, posted months before homosexuality was decriminalized last July, related how a retail manager, Cherag Bambboat, lent about $650 to a friend who then refused to repay the money and then allegedly harassed and assaulted him.

The article recounted that Bambboat, who was openly gay well before his orientation was decriminalized, befriended a man named Faraaz Mistry in 2008. ""We became friends maybe all too fast," Cherag said. "I became a crutch for Faraaz who used to tell me about how he was having marital problems." Added Bambboat, "One day, Faraaz also told me he was not completely heterosexual."

Bambboat claimed that when he met with Mistral and his family to discuss being repaid, Mistral alleged that the money had been payment for sexual encounters. Bambboat denied this, and presented a text message from Bambboat saying that Mistral loved him. Both sides agreed to put the matter behind them but then, Bambboat claims, Mistral sent him a series of menacing text messages, one of which threatened his mother. When Bambboat confronted Mistral about the texts, he claims, Mistral assaulted him.

Mistral denied the allegations, telling the press, "I did not assault Cherag or hit him. We had an alteration. Cherag has money and connections, he can say anything. This is an old matter, let it drop."

Standing Up for His Rights

Although homosexuality was still a crime at the time of the alleged assault, Bambboat went to the police, and was treated respectfully. "I put my trust in the police and it paid off with great justice," he said. "Many gays, especially, are afraid to approach the police fearing harassment and intimidation, but I have learnt that the law spares no one, I mean no one. I thank all those who stood by me and salute the Mumbai police for the justice they fight to obtain every day in thousands of cases."

Mid Day.com posted some general safety tips for gays meeting new friends online. "Hold on to personal information," the site advised. "Do not be too liberal with your phone number." Moreover, "Make a free e-mail account that you use just for online dating. Don’t put your full name." Also: "Always meet in a public place for the first time," the site suggests, and, "Do tell a friend/family your whereabouts and have an exit route ready if things get nasty."

The repeal of India’s anti-gay law was a long and hard-fought battle that culminated with a ruling from the Delhi High Court. In the matter of a petition to strike down the law, which led up to the ruling, different government offices had contradicted one another before the high court, with India’s Home Ministry pressing to uphold the law on "moral" grounds while the Health Ministry sought the end of gay criminalization, in part to help combat the spread of HIV.

Under the anti-gay statute, which dated back to 1860 and British Colonial rule, consensual gay sex between adults was punishable by stiff jail terms of up to ten years. The court issued its decision on July 2, striking down anti-gay portions of Article 377 that criminalized sex between consenting adults of the same gender.

The court left intact portions of the article that outlawed sexual violence and sex with minors. India’s prime minister, Monmohan Singh, chose not to challenge the court’s ruling.